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Domestic Myths & Facts |
| Myth: Domestic violence is usually a one time event, an isolated incident. |
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Fact: Battering is a pattern of assaultive and coercive
behaviors including a variety of tactics that occur and become more severe over
time. Battering is not just one physical attack. It is a number of
tactics (intimidation, threats, economic deprivation, psychological and sexual
abuse) used repeatedly. Physical violence is one of those tactics.
Experts have compared methods used by batterers to those used by terrorists to
brainwash hostages. |
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Myth: When there is violence in the family, all members of the family
are participating in the dynamic, and therefore, all must change for the
violence to stop. |
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Fact: Only the batterer has the ability to stop the violence.
Battering is a behavioral choice used to maintain power and control over a
victim. Many women who are battered make numerous attempts to change their
behavior in the hope that this will stop the abuse. This does not work.
Changes in family members behavior will not cause or influence the batterer to
be nonviolent. |
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Myth: If a battered woman really wanted to leave, she could just pack
up and go somewhere else. |
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Fact: Battered women who consider leaving their assailants are faced
with the very real possibility of severe physical damage or even death. It
is estimated that a battered woman is 75 percent more likely to be murdered when
she tries to flee or has fled, than when she stays, (Hart, National Estimates
and Facts About Domestic Violence, NCADV Voice 12, Winter 1989). Assailants
deliberately isolate their partners and deprive them of jobs and of
opportunities for acquiring education and job skills, this combined with unequal
opportunities for women in general, and lack of affordable childcare, makes it
excruciatingly difficult for women to leave. |
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Myth: The community places responsibility for domestic violence where
it belongs, on the criminal. |
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Fact: Most people blame the victim of domestic violence---some without
realizing it. They expect the woman to stop the violence, and repeatedly
analyze her motivations for not leaving, rather than scrutinizing why the
batterer keeps beating her, and why the community allows domestic violence to
continue. |
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The U.S. Department of Justice indicates
that in 2000, 1,247 women and 440 men were killed by their current or former
spouses, boyfriends, or girlfriends. |
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